Talk:Mastema, The Godslayer/@comment-25880977-20181017153828/@comment-25805375-20181017165336
Hmm, I'll have to break this down by section I guess. Backstory: "Not bad, it's short & to the point". "Which is better than most of mine, since they're mostly walls of text". "The backstory makes sense thus far, so I won't have to say anything more about it until it's updated". Personality: "Missing quite a bit of info, & I'd argue that the line that is there is more of an appearance description than a personality description". "From how I see it, personalities can be very hard to explain sometimes, so good luck". Appearance: "It does it's job, it's a rather detailed explanation of Mastema's physical look". "The only thing I would consider adding, if applicable, is explanations of different attires, like his casualwear or whatnot". Abilites: "The few things under the abilities section could probably be reworked into the powers section". "For example, his primal chi could be called Umbra-Chi manipulation". (Note: I may have the chi manipulation prefix in my kinetics list, but I don't recall it for certain, something to check out maybe) "Also, abilities usually have some kind of way to separate them from powers". "The way I do it is putting any power under powers & putting naturally-born-with traits under abilities". "For example, I put things like White Magic under powers & things like Stress Control under abilities". Powers: "I'm not going to critique the powers themselves, because they all seem to fit so far". "But I'll try to help with the seemingly uncertain ones on the list". "Black Magic is tricky, it depends on which version you plan to use". "There's the semi-realistic variant, which is very much akin to voodoo, but not quite the same thing". "And then there's the fantasy variant, which is a collection of spells that focus on dealing elemental damage with such things as water, earth, & darkness". "Umbra-Electrokinesis is lightning being enhanced by the power of darkness, but isn't usually magical". "I'd recommend my magic manipulation prefix, mysto, somewhere in there if you're going for Dark Lightning Magic, it'll go something like Mysto-Umbra-Electrokinesis, but that's a bit of a mouthful". "If you don't mind the length, then that'll work just fine, but if you want to shorten it, then you could try Umbra-Black Magic, & if you're using the fantasy variant, then all you'd have to do is just mention that the lightning is the only element Mastema uses". "I would also add some details to his pain tolerance, since that changes drastically from person to person even in real life". Armory: "I usually break this down into two different section, weapons & armor, but if you want to keep them under the same one, it's fine by me". "There's two things I'll recommend for this section if you decide to keep it the way it is". "Number one, you'll want to at least add his armor to the page, even if it's not enchanted or if you don't quite have it all figured out". "Even if you've only got the chestplate finished, it's fine to add placeholder names or whatnot for the rest of his currently undecided armor". "Number two, I'd break the section down into two groups, one for weapons & one for armor, it makes it much easier to not only read, but also for you to find things in case you can't remember if you've added them already". Forms: "Sometimes, I break this one down a little bit too". "I also usually make each form it's own mini-section too". "For example, I usually go into great detail for each form, sometimes making entire paragraphs describing every little difference, like personalities, eye colorations, hair colorations, etc.". "Other than that, there's not much else I can recommend for the forms section". Strengths & Weaknesses: "I know these are blank, but I have a small rule of thumb when it comes to these". "It's easiest to think of the most glaring & noticeable strengths & weaknesses first, then you'll want to add any other ones you can think of afterwards". "Another general rule of thumb I often use is that the amount of strengths & weaknesses should equal each other for most characters". "One more tip, it's also good to list a few for any forms the character can ascend to, since they often rebalance attributes & can make someone completely different from what they normally are, like comparing base Goku's carefree attitude with SSJ3 Goku's deadly serious one". Stuff To Maybe Add: Skills section (Skills are generally things that a character was taught by someone or something else, & on rare occasions themselves as well. Like swordsmanship, for example, probably fits Mastema for a skill, even if he's self-taught) Techniques section (Techniques vary from person to person, but are usally the "notable attacks" section. For example, Goku's technique section would include the kamehameha wave, the spirit bomb, the dragon fist, & any other notable attack of his would all be listed there. In Mastema's case, it would be a good place to list his dark magic abilities) Trivia section (Completely optional, but can be useful for interesting tidbits or comparisons. Not very useful usually, but it's worth it if you can come up with some decent trivia. Like who the character may have been based on, realife or whatnot) An infobox (I have an insanely complex character infobox here that I modeled after the one I made back on Luna's wiki, except it has even more complexity to it than that one. I also believe I may even have a rather detailed one for weapons you could use, and I can make an armor one for you if you'd like, they're not very difficult or even that time-consuming to make) Categories: "Be sure to include Mastema's gender in the categories tab". "Also, try Melee Weapon Users, Magic Users, Sword Users, & Saber/Sabre Users". "If that last one's not already a category, then feel free to make it one, but the rest I know for sure are pre-existing". Anyway, that's all I got for ya right now. Hope this helps, even if it's just 2%.